> ## Documentation Index > Fetch the complete documentation index at: https://docs.errorgolf.com/llms.txt > Use this file to discover all available pages before exploring further. # Languages > Look at all these different ways you can fail catastrophically ## Human & Natural Sciences You know, for ordinary people. | WTF | Why you will fail | | ------------------------------------------------------ | ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- | | [Human](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Language) | The only programming language with mandatory lying, crying, and gaslighting. | | [Math](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mathematics) | The ancient art of convincing numbers to confess by torture. | | [Physics](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Physics) | Why toast falls butter-side down and why you can’t get laid in a lab coat. | | [Chemistry](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chemistry) | Cooking meth but with peer review. | | [Medicine](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Medicine) | Should we add this? | | [Law](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Law) | Should we add this? | | [Accounting](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Accounting) | Should we add this? | | [Economics](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Economics) | Should we add this? | | [Cooking](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Food) | Should we add this? | ## Programming We don't need to explain. Your miserable day job. | WTF | Why you will fail | | --------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | ----------------------------------------------------------------------- | | [ABAP](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ABAP) | SAP’s proprietary way to ensure you never escape enterprise hell. | | [ActionScript](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ActionScript) | JavaScript’s inbred cousin locked in a Flash coffin. | | [Ada](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ada_\(programming_language\)) | Military-approved boredom in code form. | | [ALGOL](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ALGOL) | Grandpa of programming languages that everyone nods at but nobody uses. | | [APL](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/APL_\(programming_language\)) | Write code that looks like you smashed your keyboard mid-heart attack. | | [Assembly](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Assembly_language) | Programming in raw CPU grunts. Expect pain. | | [Asymptote](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asymptote_\(vector_graphics_language\)) | For people who like their diagrams to feel like tax returns. | | [AWK](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/AWK) | The duct tape for text files your granddad still swears by. | | [Bash](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bash_\(Unix_shell\)) | The art of turning your terminal into a suicide note. | | [BASIC](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/BASIC) | The “baby’s first language” that created generations of spaghetti code. | | [BCPL](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/BCPL) | Archaeological proof computers existed before fun. | | [Boo](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boo_\(programming_language\)) | Python and C# had a drunken one-night stand. | | [C](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/C_\(programming_language\)) | The cockroach of programming languages—ugly, ancient, unkillable. | | [C#](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/C_Sharp_\(programming_language\)) | Microsoft’s Java knockoff with corporate Stockholm syndrome. | | [C++](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/C%2B%2B) | C, but now with 3,000 ways to segfault. | | [CFML](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ColdFusion_Markup_Language) | ColdFusion’s love letter to developers who hate themselves. | | [Clean](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clean_\(programming_language\)) | Functional programming without the function or the fun. | | [Clojure](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clojure) | Lisp for Java devs who enjoy self-harm. | | [COBOL](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/COBOL) | The reason your bank still runs like it’s 1965. | | [CoffeeScript](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/CoffeeScript) | The hipster JavaScript that died when npm happened. | | [Common Lisp](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Common_Lisp) | All the parentheses you could ever hate. | | [Crystal](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crystal_\(programming_language\)) | Ruby wearing a C cosplay. | | [CSS](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/CSS) | The language where `margin: auto;` is a prayer, not a command. | | [D](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/D_\(programming_language\)) | The C++ replacement that couldn’t replace C++. | | [Dart](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dart_\(programming_language\)) | Google’s idea of “What if JavaScript, but worse?” | | [Delphi](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Delphi_\(software\)) | Pascal in a trench coat pretending to be relevant. | | [Dylan](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dylan_\(programming_language\)) | Apple’s failed attempt to make Lisp sexy. | | [Eiffel](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eiffel_\(programming_language\)) | The French way of saying “I’m better than you” in code. | | [Elixir](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elixir_\(programming_language\)) | Erlang with hipster syntax and beard oil. | | [Elm](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elm_\(programming_language\)) | The Haskell for front-end devs who hate JavaScript. | | [Erlang](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Erlang_\(programming_language\)) | Built for telecoms but mostly used to confuse newcomers. | | [Factor](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Factor_\(programming_language\)) | Stack-based programming for people who hate themselves. | | [Felix](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Felix_\(programming_language\)) | C++ and ML walked into a bar and nobody cared. | | [Forth](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Forth_\(programming_language\)) | Stack manipulation for masochists. | | [Fortran](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fortran) | The language that refuses to die because scientists don’t update code. | | [FoxPro](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/FoxPro) | Microsoft’s old database toy now in witness protection. | | [Frege](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frege_\(programming_language\)) | Haskell but on the JVM, because why not make it slower? | | [Gambas](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gambas) | BASIC in a Linux cult. | | [Go](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Go_\(programming_language\)) | Google’s minimalist way to say “No, you can’t have generics… oh wait.” | | [Groovy](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Apache_Groovy) | Java with a bong hit. | | [Haskell](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Haskell_\(programming_language\)) | For programmers who value purity over productivity. | | [Haxe](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Haxe) | Code once, deploy everywhere, regret forever. | | [HTML](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/HTML) | The Lego bricks of the internet, without instructions. | | [Idris](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Idris_\(programming_language\)) | Proving your code correct while proving you have no life. | | [Io](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Io_\(programming_language\)) | Prototype-based minimalism for language hipsters. | | [J](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/J_\(programming_language\)) | APL without the alien keyboard. Still unreadable. | | [Java](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Java_\(programming_language\)) | Write once, debug everywhere. | | [JavaScript](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/JavaScript) | The duct tape holding the internet together. | | [Julia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Julia_\(programming_language\)) | For scientists who want Python speed without Python speed. | | [Kotlin](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kotlin_\(programming_language\)) | JetBrains’ attempt to put Java out of its misery. | | [Lisp](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lisp_\(programming_language\)) | Everything is a list, including your regrets. | | [LiveCode](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/LiveCode) | English-like programming that’s neither. | | [Lua](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lua_\(programming_language\)) | The lightweight scripting language every game dev forgets to update. | | [MATLAB](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/MATLAB) | Math with a paywall. | | [MaxScript](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/MAXScript) | Scripting 3D software with all the joy of dental work. | | [Mercury](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mercury_\(programming_language\)) | Logic programming for people who hate fun. | | [Modula-2](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Modula-2) | Pascal’s weirder, lonelier sibling. | | [Monkey](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Monkey_\(programming_language\)) | Cross-platform game dev for masochists. | | [NASM](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Netwide_Assembler) | Assembly for people who think C is too easy. | | [Nim](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nim_\(programming_language\)) | Python meets C with delusions of grandeur. | | [Objective-C](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Objective-C) | C with Smalltalk bolted on, like a rusted spoiler. | | [OCaml](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/OCaml) | ML, but French. | | [OpenCL](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/OpenCL) | Parallel programming hellscape. | | [OpenQASM](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/OpenQASM) | Because quantum computers weren’t confusing enough already. | | [Pascal](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pascal_\(programming_language\)) | High school’s idea of teaching you “real” programming. | | [Perl](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Perl) | Write once, read never. | | [PHP](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/PHP) | The language powering 80% of the web and 100% of the ridicule. | | [Pike](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pike_\(programming_language\)) | If C and Python had a child nobody claimed. | | [PostScript](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/PostScript) | Printing layouts with all the grace of a dot-matrix printer. | | [PowerShell](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/PowerShell) | Microsoft’s answer to Bash, but more verbose. | | [Prolog](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prolog) | Logic programming for people who distrust logic. | | [PureScript](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/PureScript) | Haskell in a JavaScript trench coat. | | [Python](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Python_\(programming_language\)) | The language for people who think indentation is a personality. | | [Q#](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Q_Sharp) | Microsoft’s quantum spin on making devs cry. | | [QBasic](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/QBasic) | BASIC for the floppy disk generation. | | [R](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R_\(programming_language\)) | Data science’s ugly stepchild. | | [Racket](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Racket_\(programming_language\)) | Lisp with a PR manager. | | [Reason](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reason_\(programming_language\)) | OCaml with Facebook’s fingerprints. | | [Red](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Red_\(programming_language\)) | Rebol’s attempt at a comeback nobody asked for. | | [REXX](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/REXX) | Scripting from the era of mainframes and big hair. | | [Ruby](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ruby_\(programming_language\)) | The happy, pretty language that rails your productivity. | | [Rust](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rust_\(programming_language\)) | Memory safety at the cost of your sanity. | | [SAS](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/SAS_\(software\)) | Expensive Excel with a worse UI. | | [Scala](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scala_\(programming_language\)) | Java on functional steroids. | | [Scheme](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scheme_\(programming_language\)) | Lisp, but somehow smugger. | | [Shell](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shell_script) | Your OS’s “please don’t break me” interface. | | [Smalltalk](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Smalltalk) | The OO grandfather nobody visits anymore. | | [Solidity](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Solidity) | Smart contracts for dumb investments. | | [SQL](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/SQL) | The world’s most passive-aggressive data language. | | [Swift](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Swift_\(programming_language\)) | Apple’s latest way to keep you locked in the orchard. | | [Tcl](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tcl) | Tool Command Language for people who collect old languages like stamps. | | [TypeScript](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/TypeScript) | JavaScript with a chastity belt. | | [Vala](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vala_\(programming_language\)) | GNOME’s idea of a prank. | | [V](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/V_\(programming_language\)) | “It’s like Go, but with even less reason to exist.” | | [VB.NET](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Visual_Basic_.NET) | Visual Basic in witness protection. | | [VBScript](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/VBScript) | Microsoft’s malware delivery system. | | [Verilog](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Verilog) | Describing hardware in a software nightmare. | | [VHDL](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/VHDL) | Hardware design with all the verbosity of a legal contract. | | [Visual Basic](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Visual_Basic) | Drag-and-drop your way to unemployment. | | [WebAssembly](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/WebAssembly) | Run C in the browser because why not. | | [Wren](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wren_\(programming_language\)) | A small language nobody actually uses. | | [X++](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/X%2B%2B) | Microsoft’s ERP code prison. | | [X10](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/X10_\(programming_language\)) | Parallel Java for parallel headaches. | | [xBase++](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/XBase%2B%2B) | Clipper’s weird corporate cousin. | | [Zig](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zig_\(programming_language\)) | C with better safety and fewer excuses. | *** ## Only for absolute LEGENDS Do not attempt these if you are weak. You'll find out why. | WTF | Why you will fail | | --------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ | | [2DP](https://esolangs.org/wiki/2DP) | Two-dimensional programming for people allergic to normal. | | [Algae](https://esolangs.org/wiki/Algae) | Slow, green, and probably smells bad. | | [ArnoldC](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ArnoldC) | Do programming with Arnold Schwarzenegger quotes. Get to the CHOPPAH! Bestest. Evah. | | [Axiom](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Axiom_\(computer_algebra_system\)) | Math software disguised as a programming language. | | [Beatnik](https://esolangs.org/wiki/Beatnik) | Poetry that’s somehow worse when it runs. | | [Befunge](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Befunge) | Code that moves in more directions than your career. | | [Bitxt](https://esolangs.org/wiki/Bitxt) | Text manipulation for masochists. | | [BlooP](https://esolangs.org/wiki/BlooP) | Primitive loops for primitive minds. | | [Brainfuck](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brainfuck) | Eight commands, infinite headaches. Also, the best language ever invented. | | [Charcoal](https://esolangs.org/wiki/Charcoal) | Drawing ASCII art badly on purpose. | | [Chef](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chef_\(esoteric_programming_language\)) | Write recipes that compile into code and disappointment. | | [Cheese](https://esolangs.org/wiki/Cheese) | Not as tasty as it sounds. | | [Cow](https://esolangs.org/wiki/COW) | Only says “moo” and somehow still works. | | [Cyclic Tag](https://esolangs.org/wiki/Cyclic_Tag) | Tag, but in an infinite loop of bad ideas. | | [Deadfish](https://esolangs.org/wiki/Deadfish) | Deliberately useless, like a wet sock. | | [Dopey](https://esolangs.org/wiki/Dopey) | Snow White’s least productive coder. | | [FALSE](https://esolangs.org/wiki/FALSE) | A minimalist stack language that hates you. | | [Fish](https://esolangs.org/wiki/Fish) | Two-dimensional swimming in code hell. | | [Foolang](https://esolangs.org/wiki/Foolang) | Programming for clowns. | | [Fungot](https://esolangs.org/wiki/Fungot) | A chatbot that mumbles in code. | | [GolfScript](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/GolfScript) | Code golf taken to the brink of insanity. | | [Gravity](https://esolangs.org/wiki/Gravity) | The language that pulls you down with it. | | [Heron](https://esolangs.org/wiki/Heron) | Elegant name, ugly code. | | [Hexagony](https://esolangs.org/wiki/Hexagony) | Hexagonal grid coding for honeycomb addicts. | | [Hobo](https://esolangs.org/wiki/Hobo) | Coding like you’ve lost everything. | | [HQ9+](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/HQ9%2B) | Does nothing useful, on purpose. | | [HQ9++](https://esolangs.org/wiki/HQ9++) | HQ9+ but somehow even less. | | [INTERCAL](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/INTERCAL) | Designed to be as unlike any language as possible. | | [Jelly](https://esolangs.org/wiki/Jelly) | Compact golfing language for math sadists. | | [L33t](https://esolangs.org/wiki/Leet) | Speak hacker, code badly. | | [LOST](https://esolangs.org/wiki/LOST) | True to its name, you will be. | | [Lost Kingdom](https://esolangs.org/wiki/Lost_Kingdom) | Kingdom gone, devs gone, code gone. | | [LOLCODE](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/LOLCODE) | Memes as syntax. What could go wrong? | | [Malbolge](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Malbolge) | Designed to be impossible to write in, and it succeeded. | | [Muforth](https://esolangs.org/wiki/Muforth) | Yet another stack-based language nobody uses. | | [Muriel](https://esolangs.org/wiki/Muriel) | Mystery wrapped in enigma, wrapped in uselessness. | | [Nhohn](https://esolangs.org/wiki/Nhohn) | A name that sounds like a sneeze and makes less sense. | | [Om](https://esolangs.org/wiki/Om) | The meditative way to waste CPU cycles. | | [Ook!](https://esolangs.org/wiki/Ook!) | Brainfuck but for orangutans. Ook! Ook! | | [Path](https://esolangs.org/wiki/Path) | Navigate misery, but in code. | | [Piet](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Piet_\(programming_language\)) | Write programs as ugly modern art. | | [Plankalkül](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Plankalk%C3%BCl) | The first high-level language, created before people were ready to suffer. | | [Purefold](https://esolangs.org/wiki/Purefold) | Sounds deep, is shallow. | | [Rail](https://esolangs.org/wiki/Rail) | Like being hit by a train, but slower. | | [Refract](https://esolangs.org/wiki/Refract) | Distorts programming into nonsense. | | [Sardine](https://esolangs.org/wiki/Sardine) | Packed tightly with bad ideas. | | [Sclipting](https://esolangs.org/wiki/Sclipting) | Like scripting, but broken on purpose. | | [Seriously](https://esolangs.org/wiki/Seriously) | The name is the most honest part. | | [Shakespeare](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shakespeare_\(programming_language\)) | Write code as bad plays in Old English. | | [Snusp](https://esolangs.org/wiki/SNUSP) | 2D code that’s a pain in all dimensions. | | [Spaghetti](https://esolangs.org/wiki/Spaghetti) | The art of making unreadable code a feature. | | [Subleq](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/One_instruction_set_computer#SUBLEQ) | One instruction, no happiness. | | [Tcl#](https://esolangs.org/wiki/Tcl%23) | Tcl, but pointlessly renamed. | | [Tent](https://esolangs.org/wiki/Tent) | Temporary shelter for bad code. | | [Thue](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thue_\(programming_language\)) | A theoretical mess for masochists. | | [Thutu](https://esolangs.org/wiki/Thutu) | Baby’s first pointless language. | | [Trefunge](https://esolangs.org/wiki/Trefunge) | Befunge, but 3D — because why not. | | [Trefunge98](https://esolangs.org/wiki/Trefunge98) | The sequel nobody asked for. | | [Triangular](https://esolangs.org/wiki/Triangular) | Geometry homework disguised as coding. | | [Troll](https://esolangs.org/wiki/Troll) | Exists solely to annoy you. | | [Turing Tarpits](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Turing_tarpit) | In theory, anything’s possible. In practice, nothing’s sane. | | [UNBC](https://esolangs.org/wiki/UNBC) | Probably stands for “Useless Nonsense By Coders.” | | [Unlambda](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Unlambda) | A functional language that rejects functionality. | | [V](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/V_\(programming_language\)) | “It’s like Go, but with even less reason to exist.” | | [VLC](https://esolangs.org/wiki/VLC) | No, not the media player. Worse. | | [Void](https://esolangs.org/wiki/Void) | Nothingness as a coding philosophy. | | [Whirl](https://esolangs.org/wiki/Whirl) | Code shaped like a bad acid trip. | | [Whitespace](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Whitespace_\(programming_language\)) | Only spaces, tabs, and line breaks. Developers’ nightmare fuel. | | [Y](https://esolangs.org/wiki/Y) | Single-letter hell. | | [Yabasic](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yabasic) | BASIC stripped to the bone. |